Moving in together is a big step in any relationship and it solidifies what will hopefully be a successful future. The one thing that would make moving in together disastrous is not talking about money before making the move. As you decide to make this step I strongly encourage that you ask these money questions before moving in together.
Most couples typically get married or break up after moving in with each other. I’m not saying that money is the only issue that can arise but it’s a big issue if left undiscussed. These questions are set up to ensure that you know your partners financial status before putting your name on the lease. People can either elevate you or bring you down.
As you ask these questions ensure that it is a judgement free zone. Some people are good with money and some aren’t. Remember also that your partner may be on a journey to rebuild their finances. Be their to provide support but also don’t let your own finances suffer in the process. Use these questions to solidify what should already be a strong relationship and view them as a step towards your future as a unit.
Money Questions to ask Before Moving in Together
Table of Contents
What do You Spend Money On?
I always say that if you ask someone to show you what and where they spend their money you can tell what’s important to them. This is one of the key money questions to ask before moving in together because it will reveal who your partner is on paper.
If your partner likes to spend money it will be very evident. They will have a high bill on expensive stuff often times consumer goods that don’t add value. People who like to spend are very trendy and they’ll likely have the latest model of everything. This means that you should be ready to either be comfortable with a high roller lifestyle or be ready to have difficult conversations about cutting back on spending.
On the other hand if your partner is more frugal there will be a sense of purpose in spending. Even with the more pricey stuff you will find that they are well thought out and planned purchases.
In both instances the call is to understand your partner. Find opportunities for improvement and growth financially. As a couple it would be time to establish healthy spending habits to where there’s purpose and reason for how and where you both choose to spend money.
THINGS I STOPPED BUYING TO SAVE MONEY
How Much Debt do You Have?
Another important question to ask is the debt question. This is especially important if you both have plans to get married because you will commingle assets and that means debt as well. Before you start to get serious you should both know what you are getting yourselves into.
If you marry someone who has debt then you inherit that debt. Is this something that you are prepared to do? This is a very important question to consider. Are you ready to be on the hook for someone else’s debt? Ask these questions early on to avoid resentment later on.
After having this discussion and realizing that one of you has debt you can set a goal to eliminate that debt. This will matter when you want to buy a house for example because debt to income ratio matters. It can also bring to light bad habits if your partner uses debt to manage day to day life. This will help structure the conversations you need to have and the steps to make as a couple to create a life that you enjoy.
Which Expenses Will You Share?
Before moving in together you need to both know what expenses will be shared. The most common expense that couples share is the rent or the mortgage because it’s your biggest budget item. As you decide on this also think about how you will fund those expenses.
Depending on how much each person makes then you can split the expenses that you decide to share equally or using a predetermined ratio. You also need to decide how those expenses will be paid. Will you set up an account that you will jointly put money in for those expenses?
Ask these questions early on to avoid confusion and disagreements later on. Failing to plan and think ahead is a source of many arguments because there is a lack of communication.
Do you have Savings?
This may sound like an invasive question especially if you are just beginning to really get to know each other. Money is always such a sensitive issue and when you ask someone if they have saved money they may not be happy with that question. The reason I think that this question is important is because you want to have an idea of whether your partner has money set aside for emergencies and such.
Savings are there to protect us from life occurrences. You could get sick, laid off or have an accident that would require you have money saved up. When you move in with someone you start depending on each other even more. I would want to ensure that my partner is ready for anything that could happen because it would impact me.
Approach this question respectfully and with no judgement. If you find that you both need to start saving more then develop a plan to save money together. Talk about your goals for saving and how to achieve them. Work together as a couple to ensure that you both build a savings nest that will safeguard your future.
Is Your Credit Good?
This is one of the money questions to ask before moving in together because it will inevitably come up as you get on with life. If you plan to buy a house, a car or anything that requires credit then both your credit scores will matter. In fact if both of your names are on the lease the landlord will probably check your credit history.
To ensure that there are no bumps or awkward conversations in the future ask this question. This will also help to determine if both of you should apply to get the house together or just one of you depending on the status of each of your credit scores.
Having this conversation will enable you to work on building your credit score if necessary. From here you can have an action plan to ensure that you set yourselves up to succeed. It will also help you both to see where your partner spends their money again. Do they have more student loans versus consumer loans for example? Use this link to get your free credit score.
What are Your Future Plans and Goals?
To ensure that both parties are on the same page in terms of goals ask your partner what their future plans are financially. Ask your partner about their plans in terms of your financial well-being as a couple. They may have plans to get out of debt, save up for a home, save up for a business, plans to retire early and so much more.
Asking this question enables you to know where you fit in the future. If your partner asks for your input and feedback it’s a good sign that they want to include you. It is also a good segue way to discussing your plans as a couple. Questions about having children can come up now because children are expensive and should be planned for.
As you discuss the future make sure to bring up any concerns you may have with the present and how to tackle those issues. Talking about money should become normal in the relationship.
How are You with Money?
This question is a general question to get an understanding of how your partner is with money. You probably already have a general idea of how they are but this questions is supposed to spark a conversation.
I would want to know if they are passive with money where they don’t really plan around money and just go with it. It would be helpful to know if they are more intentional with money. Do they set a budget and follow it?Are they tracking how they spend their money? Do they save intentionally?
People have different personalities and so they are different with money too. Asking a general question like this can reveal exactly how your partner is with money. Use this question to ask even more difficult questions if possible.
Who is Responsible for What?
Last but certainly not least is to make sure everyone knows what they are responsible for. If you decide to have a joint account then it won’t matter because the pool of money can be used for household expenses. But if you keep your money separate as most couple do when they initially move in together then you’ll need a clear itemization of who pays for what.
List down all the expenses that you currently have individually then decide what you want to split. Make sure that everyone understands what they will be responsible for and when the payments are due and such. You can even use a spreadsheet or journal to highlight expenses as you go the them to ensure you don’t miss anything.
I hope these questions make the move more efficient and cohesive as you plan your lives together with your partner. Remember these money questions to ask before moving in together should lead to great conversations. Try to be understanding and non judgmental as you go through these money questions and discuss issues as they come up. Communication is important and especially about money.
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